SHUT IT

If there's one thing I hate?? It would be when I get to be accused of something I have not done!

Isn't it just SO annoying? For people to come up to you and say...

"Hey, you did it again, you haven't overcome that sin of yours... etc etc etc" in sarcastic ways!

Well, fine! You're concern, I get it!

But hey! You don't sound concern about me! So sound alarmed!

And besides, beneath that "line" its quite obvious that you have that mistrust! So please?

QUIT IT!

I know when I do something wrong... I mean HELLO?! I am a Christian after all ain't I? So duhh... I get "promptings" from the Holy Spirit... So... GET IT??

Sorry, I guess.... But I really hope you'd understand...

*Sigh*

I know I know, getting angry wouldn't really do anything... and I guess, maybe I don't have the right to...

**Just needed to let it out.... Hope you'd understand~**

Happy?

Well, uhm.. today a pastor from Taiwan came and spoke. He was speaking on happiness, and well... it was quite timely.

I have been, and probably still am, looking for a person/s who would really care for me. Not that my friends and family aren't enough... but... I don't know. All I know is just I "need" it.

The Taiwanese pastor basically was telling us that the only way to be happy is to...

1. learn to love others

and

2. be loved...

Loving others and caring for others is easy... (or probably because I can fake it, whatever)
but the second condition for happiness is quite hard to obtain.

Today a LOT happened, (I would really love to write them all down, but I believe certain people would get offended), and they aren't really good.

So in short? I felt down... almost the entire day.

Now who could I talk to? Who would care to listen? I tried to tell others, but no one seemed to care... I know, not everyone is as "martyr" as me, that would really extend to great lengths just to help and/or be there for someone...

And I forgot... I was supposed to be "self sufficient"...
I AM supposed to be... to be... to be someone, probably someone I am not.

Fine. I know this post would most likely raise a lot of questions, and some people out there would probably be offended, and many many more.

But hey~ I am not doing this to please anyone~

You no fooling me...

I may be numb... but not THAT numb to not notice that something has changed.

Honestly? I don't really know if it's for the better or otherwise...

Then again... I may just be over reacting. =.=

Things have changed... they have... thay have...

I left tonight (Aug. 22, 2008) without notice... Since I'm really looking forward to fixing things on Sunday... (Or probably on Saturday... but nonetheless, you know what I mean) I don't want any of my rash actions, words or implications ruin the chances of reconciliation and amelioration.

I doubt if you'd be able to read this tonight... I really hope that you won't be able to...

Hopefully you get to read this, after I tell you about it... Which is either Saturday or Sunday.

Sorry, if ever you've read this tonight, I apologize... :'(

Mes Amis (My Friends)

Well I believe my life hasn't really been anything less than an "open book" to almost everyone. (or at least the part of me about my friends) So here, here's a little something to...

1. Thank my friends for being there for me, and providing me with their "special magic" that's uniquely special to each of 'em.

2. TELL THE WORLD who my friends are! And "BRAG" about them~ hahahah

But I won't really be enumerating my friends here one-by-one, all I would do is mention those who have really made an impact on me, and I would do that by utilizing "symbolism" XD yay!

here goes!
[NOTE : all pronouns are in GENERIC MASCULINE so as not to reveal who they really are, for i believe they already know who THEY are~]

Lluvia (rain) - Recently, I've noticed that I had this fascination for "rain" (rain as in the form of precipitation), whenever it rains, I am happy, it uplifts me! Despite the fact that it also makes things hard for me (like me getting drenched, too cold, etc. basically the usual annoyance rains bring). And just like the rain? This friend of mine really makes me happy, in spite of all the troubles we go through~ And I really appreciate this friend of mine, he does things that are REALLY out of his way, and even out of his character, just because he knows it would make me happy. By all means, I wouldn't want to lose this friend~

Viento (wind) - This friend of mine is really like the wind. He's always there even if it seems like he isn't. And just when I am about to fall? He softens my fall, or even prevents it! He's always there JUST in time! He never fails to give me that "knock" on the head whenever I need it. He gives me enough advices to keep me going (both in my Christian life and my life in general)! And just like the wind, he "howls" when he needs me, and I like being needed~ =)

Tierra de tierra (earthen ground) - This friend of mine I associate with the "Earth" (not the planet, but the earth we're stepping on, the "ground"). He's, just like the earth, always there to support me. Though he is as weak as me, he still makes it a point to be there for me to lean on. And just like the earth that absorbs in all the rain? This friend of mine is there whenever I need to cry~ He's there for me, we cry a LOT together~

Étoile (star) - Why star? Well, because we both didn't expect to be there for each other, but we see each other often... Like how we see the stars. And this friend of mine has guided me through A LOT! Just like the star that silently follows and does its best to light you way with everything its got, my friend does that too! And why star? Not just any light? Because as we all know, stars are balls of flames, and flames mean warmth... This friend has never failed to show me and give me the warmth I need, just when I need it!

Oleada (Billow) - To those who don't know, billow is another term for "wave" ~ Hm.. This friend of mine is just like the billows at sea! Who here has experienced playing at the beach and did not have fun with the waves? None right? (or probably REAL few~) This is why my friend I call BILLOW, he is SO fun to be with. You'd both be laughing like there's no tomorrow! But just like the waves, this friend of mine, at times, would cause me to slip and fall. Yup, there are times when we unknowingly hurt each other. (It is, after all, part of every friendship~) Those are the times when the waves just knock you down. But he would never drown me! =) Also, isn't it surprising how the waves can carry ships and other large vessels? Well, this friend of mine has sure have had her share of "carrying me through troubled waters", and just like the wind? This "Wave" of mine never fails to "drench" me in God's word~ =)

Vapeur (Vapor) - This friend I can say I have known the L O N G E S T! He has been with me for.... 11years!! (and to think that I'm only 16~) Why vapor? Well, the vapor is, like the wind, seldom seen. For 11 years we have had our fair share of ups and downs, and there are times when it just seems like we are alone. But nonetheless, we always got through! Just enough amount of vapor could neutralize the temperature around you! Same is true with this friend of mine! Just a "little bit" of him would be enough to calm me down, and just help me relax~ And after all the "vapor" brings about rain right? Well, at this VERY MOMENT, this "vapor" of mine is helping get my "rain" back~ =)


Well, as most of you might know... I have a lot more friends... and I've only given a few... That's because these are the ones whom I REALLY WANT TO SHOW DEEP APPRECIATION TO.

To Vapeur, Oleada, Étoile, Tierra de tierra, Viento and Lluvia...

THANKS A LOT! =) THANK GOD I FOUND YOU!

And as for those whom I haven't mentioned... It doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you...=) Its just that at this moment? These friends mentioned above are those that I REALLY want to show deep gratitude to~ =) You'd have your time... =)

ALL BOXED UP!

People just don't seem to know when to stop.

They tend to see things in a "box"... Their box...

They see things in a subjective way, where they are right. They are the ones on the "offended/deprived" side.

They think too much on the "wrong" they see in others.

HOLD YOUR HORSES!

Speculate before judging.
Asses before speaking.
Look before hitting!

Lately, I've seen too much... Too much trouble. In school, within friends, etc.

And as I have observed? Its mainly because of "MISUNDERSTANDINGS"

Parties tend to do this and that, because they see themselves. They see that they're the ones who are right. But have they ever considered what the other party has to say?

You say you need to "take a stand" and end things once and for all... but did you consider all you options before doing so?

~> You address a congregation, and tell them they are oppressed... Saying you've felt it first hand. Fine. You might've... but have you considered who the oppressors are? And have you tried bringing the issue to them? And see why things are the way they are?

~> You say a "friend" of yours is WAY OFF TRACK already, and what do you do? Do "mini-conferences" with your common friends, without the person in question, and what? Share his (GENERIC MASCULINE) misfortunes? his unacceptable deeds? Then what are you? A "Back Bitter" I say! How dare you call yourself friends...

People are entitled to their own opinions, and so are YOU. If "you", as a reader, feel that I'm too BRUTALLY BLUNT, then its okay. It is by all means your opinion. I am just doing what I believe is just...

To lessen the blood that paved the way of blind IDEALISTS.

So it was...

So it was... Shockingly, I had the chance to talk to our newly appointed principal today! =)

(Yep, PRINCIPAL, finally we get to have one!)

Well, contrary to what I thought, she actually didn't forget what she said, and so... we talked.

I was at her office at around 4:30pm?? Give or take... And I left about 7pm... O_O (Am shocked myself!)

As planned, I told her about my "concerns" regarding the English Club thingie...
She said she'll look into it, and that she needs to talk to some people about it. (admin., club adviser, etc.)

If you know St. Stephen's (our school, apparently) you'll know how "significant" that statement already is!

I can't really blame her, you should've seen her table! It was nowhere in sight! It was covered with tons and tons of paper! And I am not one bit exaggerating! =.=

So much for that, if I were to say here what else we talked about... You might say that I've been quote-on-quote "brainwashed" o.O

I'm just happy that I was finally able to voice out, and that I was heard. I just hope and pray that they can hasten the processes, because BY ALL MEANS, time is running out! =)

Things to Ponder Upon

With all these commotion in the school... I guess it wouldn't be bad to give my two cents worth. =)
Here are some trivial things which I believe people (especially those involved in any way) must really PONDER ON.

1. How is it that we'll know what's true? We say we want "freedom" but how do we know if we aren't just blindly following?

2. How can one be called "brave" or a "hero" for stirring up the minds of people, when he has nothing to lose in doing so? (Jose Rizal risked his LIFE in doing so, thus he is now known as our "National Hero".)

3. I believe that God is pleased with our deeds if our deeds bore the following (or if our deeds promoted the following):

-love
-joy
-peace
-patience
-kindness
-goodness
-faithfulness
-gentleness
-self-control

These have always been known as "The FRUIT of the Holy Spirit" and not "FRUITS". Because one must bear FRUIT that has all these.
Now, ponder upon what we have been doing... Do they please God?

4. How can we follow someone who wants us to decipher right from wrong through a perspective that "sets aside God" ?? Someone who wants us to "set aside" our "Christian Thinking" and look at things in a human perspective because the reality is that the world is not a Christian-world? We all should know by now that we, as Christians, are ABOVE the law (law meaning "right and wrong" through our thinking), and our only un-debatable truth is the Bible. And that we are called to be "not of this world" but "of Christ".

I really hope and pray that as individuals, we would learn to think and really consider EVERYTHING that we hear or see. We can't just follow, we have to learn to know "what God wants". No matter how you put it we, as Christians, should only consider what God would "accept" as right, and not be swayed by what the world accepts as norms. Our main goal in life is to do God's will, no more.... no less.

What Now??

A lot has happened lately. From me getting sick to the "scandalous" induction ceremony. And just like everyone else, I am... hm... how do I say this? Agitated?

Well, lets just say me "school spirit" has been awakened. There, I guess that would be a better way to put it. And apparently, I am in a state of confusion.

I was not able to run for any office in the club in which I was vying for. The English Club. Since the election was scheduled on a Thursday, and that same Thursday was the day I was burning with fever! I tried to get myself nominated via phone, but they refused and said that I was not qualified due to my absence.

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

I know I have my right to run, at least I believe I do. And all I know now is that I have to fight for it. But the question is... After I fight for it, and prove them wrong... WHAT'S NEXT??

Do I ask for a re-election? Would that be fair?

I am SO confused... I know something has to be done, and so I am going to do it... My voice needs to be heard, and I will forever be bothered if I just kept quiet about this.

But what is it that I do next?

Sometimes it really makes me wonder. What was God's plan?

Did He...

Made these things possible because He didn't want me to have any office at the club?

Or...

Did He allow this to tell me to learn to stand up for my rights?

Am SO confused...

But all I can do now... Is wait... Right?

I can only wait and see how these things would turn out...

I'll be talking to people soon, and I just hope they turn out right! =)