SHUT IT

If there's one thing I hate?? It would be when I get to be accused of something I have not done!

Isn't it just SO annoying? For people to come up to you and say...

"Hey, you did it again, you haven't overcome that sin of yours... etc etc etc" in sarcastic ways!

Well, fine! You're concern, I get it!

But hey! You don't sound concern about me! So sound alarmed!

And besides, beneath that "line" its quite obvious that you have that mistrust! So please?

QUIT IT!

I know when I do something wrong... I mean HELLO?! I am a Christian after all ain't I? So duhh... I get "promptings" from the Holy Spirit... So... GET IT??

Sorry, I guess.... But I really hope you'd understand...

*Sigh*

I know I know, getting angry wouldn't really do anything... and I guess, maybe I don't have the right to...

**Just needed to let it out.... Hope you'd understand~**

Happy?

Well, uhm.. today a pastor from Taiwan came and spoke. He was speaking on happiness, and well... it was quite timely.

I have been, and probably still am, looking for a person/s who would really care for me. Not that my friends and family aren't enough... but... I don't know. All I know is just I "need" it.

The Taiwanese pastor basically was telling us that the only way to be happy is to...

1. learn to love others

and

2. be loved...

Loving others and caring for others is easy... (or probably because I can fake it, whatever)
but the second condition for happiness is quite hard to obtain.

Today a LOT happened, (I would really love to write them all down, but I believe certain people would get offended), and they aren't really good.

So in short? I felt down... almost the entire day.

Now who could I talk to? Who would care to listen? I tried to tell others, but no one seemed to care... I know, not everyone is as "martyr" as me, that would really extend to great lengths just to help and/or be there for someone...

And I forgot... I was supposed to be "self sufficient"...
I AM supposed to be... to be... to be someone, probably someone I am not.

Fine. I know this post would most likely raise a lot of questions, and some people out there would probably be offended, and many many more.

But hey~ I am not doing this to please anyone~

You no fooling me...

I may be numb... but not THAT numb to not notice that something has changed.

Honestly? I don't really know if it's for the better or otherwise...

Then again... I may just be over reacting. =.=

Things have changed... they have... thay have...

I left tonight (Aug. 22, 2008) without notice... Since I'm really looking forward to fixing things on Sunday... (Or probably on Saturday... but nonetheless, you know what I mean) I don't want any of my rash actions, words or implications ruin the chances of reconciliation and amelioration.

I doubt if you'd be able to read this tonight... I really hope that you won't be able to...

Hopefully you get to read this, after I tell you about it... Which is either Saturday or Sunday.

Sorry, if ever you've read this tonight, I apologize... :'(

Mes Amis (My Friends)

Well I believe my life hasn't really been anything less than an "open book" to almost everyone. (or at least the part of me about my friends) So here, here's a little something to...

1. Thank my friends for being there for me, and providing me with their "special magic" that's uniquely special to each of 'em.

2. TELL THE WORLD who my friends are! And "BRAG" about them~ hahahah

But I won't really be enumerating my friends here one-by-one, all I would do is mention those who have really made an impact on me, and I would do that by utilizing "symbolism" XD yay!

here goes!
[NOTE : all pronouns are in GENERIC MASCULINE so as not to reveal who they really are, for i believe they already know who THEY are~]

Lluvia (rain) - Recently, I've noticed that I had this fascination for "rain" (rain as in the form of precipitation), whenever it rains, I am happy, it uplifts me! Despite the fact that it also makes things hard for me (like me getting drenched, too cold, etc. basically the usual annoyance rains bring). And just like the rain? This friend of mine really makes me happy, in spite of all the troubles we go through~ And I really appreciate this friend of mine, he does things that are REALLY out of his way, and even out of his character, just because he knows it would make me happy. By all means, I wouldn't want to lose this friend~

Viento (wind) - This friend of mine is really like the wind. He's always there even if it seems like he isn't. And just when I am about to fall? He softens my fall, or even prevents it! He's always there JUST in time! He never fails to give me that "knock" on the head whenever I need it. He gives me enough advices to keep me going (both in my Christian life and my life in general)! And just like the wind, he "howls" when he needs me, and I like being needed~ =)

Tierra de tierra (earthen ground) - This friend of mine I associate with the "Earth" (not the planet, but the earth we're stepping on, the "ground"). He's, just like the earth, always there to support me. Though he is as weak as me, he still makes it a point to be there for me to lean on. And just like the earth that absorbs in all the rain? This friend of mine is there whenever I need to cry~ He's there for me, we cry a LOT together~

Étoile (star) - Why star? Well, because we both didn't expect to be there for each other, but we see each other often... Like how we see the stars. And this friend of mine has guided me through A LOT! Just like the star that silently follows and does its best to light you way with everything its got, my friend does that too! And why star? Not just any light? Because as we all know, stars are balls of flames, and flames mean warmth... This friend has never failed to show me and give me the warmth I need, just when I need it!

Oleada (Billow) - To those who don't know, billow is another term for "wave" ~ Hm.. This friend of mine is just like the billows at sea! Who here has experienced playing at the beach and did not have fun with the waves? None right? (or probably REAL few~) This is why my friend I call BILLOW, he is SO fun to be with. You'd both be laughing like there's no tomorrow! But just like the waves, this friend of mine, at times, would cause me to slip and fall. Yup, there are times when we unknowingly hurt each other. (It is, after all, part of every friendship~) Those are the times when the waves just knock you down. But he would never drown me! =) Also, isn't it surprising how the waves can carry ships and other large vessels? Well, this friend of mine has sure have had her share of "carrying me through troubled waters", and just like the wind? This "Wave" of mine never fails to "drench" me in God's word~ =)

Vapeur (Vapor) - This friend I can say I have known the L O N G E S T! He has been with me for.... 11years!! (and to think that I'm only 16~) Why vapor? Well, the vapor is, like the wind, seldom seen. For 11 years we have had our fair share of ups and downs, and there are times when it just seems like we are alone. But nonetheless, we always got through! Just enough amount of vapor could neutralize the temperature around you! Same is true with this friend of mine! Just a "little bit" of him would be enough to calm me down, and just help me relax~ And after all the "vapor" brings about rain right? Well, at this VERY MOMENT, this "vapor" of mine is helping get my "rain" back~ =)


Well, as most of you might know... I have a lot more friends... and I've only given a few... That's because these are the ones whom I REALLY WANT TO SHOW DEEP APPRECIATION TO.

To Vapeur, Oleada, Étoile, Tierra de tierra, Viento and Lluvia...

THANKS A LOT! =) THANK GOD I FOUND YOU!

And as for those whom I haven't mentioned... It doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you...=) Its just that at this moment? These friends mentioned above are those that I REALLY want to show deep gratitude to~ =) You'd have your time... =)