For quite sometime now, I'm having stronger and stronger desires to just seek God and draw closer to Him. But also for quite sometime now, it has just remained as a "desire." I feel like the longing for His love and His presence grows stronger everyday, but still not strong enough to get me doing something about it.
I'd have portions in my day where I feel like I'm not as close to Him as I should be, or as I want to be and I'd say to myself: "I really wish I could have like a day or something when I don't have to do anything else but spend time in prayer and seeking." Then I get home, I go online, surf the night away till wee hours in the morning. I end up tired the next day, and I just wasted my time. On other days, I'd be bombarded with school work. The journey seems to have stopped somewhere.
Sure, I got to church every Sunday. I spend my weekends in church with choir practices and fellowships. I read my bible regularly and I make sure I pray regularly too. It worked for the longest time, but it doesn't anymore -- it's like I'm a full-grown teen and still hoping to be satisfied with just drinking milk from a baby bottle five times a day. It just isn't enough.
If I want something, I have to do something. If I want someone, I have to work towards it -- relationships aren't built in a day.
Being with God, coming back to the Father, means working out a relationship with Him -- a relationship that grows deeper with time. But, as most of you lovers out there might know, relationships don't just grow with time, a considerable amount of effort goes into cultivating it. Valentine's just left, and the greatest gifts are always those that showcase a ton of effort -- from efforts to buy the best jewelry, to efforts like canceling-everything-on-a-regular-Tuesday-to-spend-the-whole-day-with-someone-just-because-it's-the-14th-of-February kind of thing. For all those people out there who's loved and been loved, we all know how important "effort and time" is to get the "man/woman of our dreams." And it's the same thing with God. I want to know Him more, I know I'm longing for Him more -- BUT if I don't do anything to draw closer to Him, this relationship won't grow!
God is always there, His love will never be out of reach, but He loves us so much to impose it on us. He'll always be close by, but He won't force Himself into us. We have to respond. One-way relationships don't work, one would get tired and leave. Thing is, God is too faithful to do that. He'd stay there and wait. The prodigal son's dad was waiting for him to come home and never stopped loving him, right? (Luke 15:11-32) What more our Heavenly Father for us prodigal saints?
Now that's the thing, we Saints are not saved by religion -- our salvation is in our relationship with Christ. God has done everything already, it's like having someone set up a whole weekend of activities to spend with you -- all you have to do is say YES. He wants to spend time with us, we just have to want it too and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
(Revelations 3:20)
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