"boku wa hontoni baka deshou...."

I feel so STUPID!!!!

I actually cant control myself...

I promised God to not continue sinning this certain sin... and even asked Him for something in exchange for not doing it...somewhat like an incentive...

Yet this stupid of a guy, me, actually sinned...AGAIN...

Argh!! And I call myself a Christian... A follower of Christ... And I'm like this?!?

Yes I know am still in the process of being changed ...but... that's not an excuse!!

I DELIBERATELY.. disobeyed Him...

I really feel so STUPID!!

I really wanted this certain stuff that I asked Him for exchange.. and now... How on earth am I supposed to get it??

*note: this certain thing is something that only God can provide in an instant..its something that man can't achieve on his own....effectually?? or at least not quickly*

Not to mention the fact that I can actually see Him trying to interfere so as for me to not fall into sin again... but stupid me... I deliberately waited for the time wherein God left a loop hole for me practice SELF-DISCIPLINE and yet I WASTED IT!!!!!!

. . . . . . .

WHY?!?

Why was I born a man??

I mean, MAN was born with a sinful nature to start with...

Also, MAN is VERY PRONE to stumble and fall into sin..

A MAN...

which God gave a choice... whether to sin or not...
and gave us the power to choose....


I really hope God would be gracious enough... I mean hopefully He'll still grant me my wish...
I really hope so...

And for those of you out there who are Christians like me...

plsssss... pray for me so as for me to not stumble into sin again...

I always try and tell my friends to do what's right... yet I myself am doing the wrong thing...

I need your prayers!!

PLs?? Thanks in advance!!Ü

As for now... Am really sleepy and tired... today wasn't actually that good a day...

1) I had a disagreement with a friend.
2) Am SO confused on who my real friends are!
3)etc...

So basically... I now plan on sleeping..heheÜ

P.S
I have really been a very IMBECILE and STUBBORN sheep in God's
flock... But I know He'll still forgive me... I just hope I'll learn my lesson
before I fall of a cliff and injure myself... And before God uses His rod to
smite me just for me to listen... To everyone out there, I just want to inform
you that you can NEVER be bad enough for God to save... but don't sin
deliberately...

P.P.S
All I want now is for God to forgive the fact that I broke my
promise...
And hopefully HE would
still grant me my
wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x_X


when I said "MAN" there... I meant human...Ü no misconceptions please...hehe tnx^_^